Karen A. Duncan, M.A., LMFT, LSW
When Children Harm Other Children: Bullying as a Form of Child Abuse
As a clinician, I have worked for the past twenty years in the field of child abuse trauma. In the process of providing the type of therapeutic services that I do, I am frequently in the position of working with schools on behalf of children who have been referred for treatment for the various types of abuse that occur to children. I am also asked to give testimony in court about the perpetrators who commit these violent and aggressive acts to children, the immediate and chronic effects of abuse trauma on children's development and the process by which therapeutic healing occurs for children to restore their sense of personal integrity and safety within their world.
Bullying as a form of aggression committed by other children has not been readily recognized as a type of child abuse perhaps because our society and culture has not wanted to accept that children do commit acts of abuse against other children. However, for those of us who work with children we are well aware that juvenile sex offenders, crimes by youth gangs, sexual assault in the form of date rape and shootings within our schools are examples of youth violence that has splintered our long-held beliefs that children do not commit physical and sexual abuses against other children. The fact is that children and adolescents do commit acts of violence both within their own family and outside the family, within the school environment and social settings and that other children are often the target of youth violence and abusive behavior.
Children and adolescents who bully other children are perpetrating a form of abuse. Bully abuse includes acts of mental and verbal abuse as well as physical abuses and the abusive behavior by bullies can have detrimental and long-lasting effects upon the child who is the victim. Often the victim of a bully is another child who for no specific reason becomes the target of the abuse. Like other perpetrators of abuse, bullies often choose their victims by proximity - the child is targeted by the bully to become the victim due to the child's availability within the classroom and school, on the bus or in the neighborhood of residence. The child remains the target of the bully as long as the bully has access to the child and effective intervention does not take place by adults. As with other forms of abuse children cannot stop the bully - only adult intervention can stop any type of abuse and that includes the abuse by a bully. When adults intervene and stop this type of abuse children learn that bully abuse is not acceptable, will not be allowed and that bullies are dealt with directly and quickly to cease their behavior and conform to the standards of social decency and positive treatment of others within the school environment.
In conceptualizing bullying as type of child abuse committed by children to other children, counselors can provide a frame of reference to help school personnel and parents understand how bullies perpetrate physical, emotional and mental harm to a child. In doing so, a school policy can be proposed that is congruent with what children already know through other programs--that abuse to children is not acceptable and it is against the law. Teachers and school counselors can then work together to stop this form of child abuse in schools and assure that the bully's abuse ends and the victim is restored to safety and well-being. The families of both the bully and victim can be involved to lend support to their respective child as this process occurs. An outcome not readily recognized is that when bullies are stopped it may provide an avenue of intervention and prevention that may help stop the development of perpetrators into adulthood and prevent the child victim from becoming a repeat victim of abuses later in life.
Bullying is defined as a student's direct and intentional harm to another student whether that harm occurs in the form of physical injury or threat, emotional abuse that comes from derogatory names, personally demeaning labels, malicious gossip, lies and distortions intended to hurt a child's reputation and character or by initiating the intentional isolation of the child from peers. Bullying is also transgressed through mental harm that causes disruption to school and educational goals resulting from an inability by the child victim to concentrate and focus on assignments and tasks, decreases motivation to attend school, depression arising from a child's sense of helplessness that she cannot stop the bully, anxiety, worry or fear that the bully will not stop on her own, and a generalized sense of dread to attend school due to the anticipation of the bully continuing the abusive behavior.
Whether bullies are female or male they make school unsafe and create both a covert disruption in the daily life of students and an overt control over a classroom or other school environment such as the lunchroom, gym or playground by usurping a teacher's or other responsible adult's positive control and influence upon students academic and social behavior. When bullies prevail the school environment becomes perilous for a child due to physical harm such as pushing, shoving, hitting, kicking, spitting or tripping, emotional harm such as derogatory names and statements that insult, embarrass, shame, ridicule and humiliate a student, and mental harm whereby a student is not able to attend school and to feel good about being in the classroom where the bully is, due to fear of embarrassment from the bully the child may not participate in class discussions, or may seldom volunteer for projects out of a sense of not being accepted by others or anticipating potential rejection by peers. In short, bullying takes the joy out of learning and attending school and replaces it with a sense of dread and loathing that each day the student will once again face the bully, the peer group surrounding the bully's behavior and the silent by-standers who act as though they do not see what is happening.
When a teacher or other adult does not intervene and stop the bully's abuse then a child is left feeling alone and isolated from any help or assistance to make it better and most importantly to make the abuse end. When parents are either unaware of the bullying or give ineffective advice such as "ignore it" then a child is left with no one to turn to who will understand how she feels and how she is experiencing herself in relation to the bully's abuse. Like other types of abuse that occur within a family, bullying takes place in secret with the child either isolated from resources and people who can help her or around individuals who do not know what to do to stop the bully's abuse. At other times the child faces the bully alone when to adults do not understand or readily acknowledge that the bully is threatening the child's emotional, physical and mental well-being or who may minimize the extent of the bully's behavior by not acting directly to stop the bully from abusing the child. When adults inadvertently condone or overlook the bully's abuse they reinforce the bully's control over the child and the peer group where children's social development is taking place. Consequently, adults who fail to intervene and stop bully abuse take the role of passive by-stander and unintentionally role model a passive reinforcement of bully abuse for other children who look to them to intervene or give direction on how to deal with this aggressive behavior in another child. Whether intentional or not the result is the same when adults do not step in and stop the abuse by the bully--they sanction the bully's behavior, allow this form of child abuse to continue, prevent positive intervention with both the bully and the child victim, and give the message to other children that bully abuse is accepted - a dangerous message for all concerned.
While this is seldom the outcome or intention of any adult it happens in schools where effective intervention has not occurred or does not occur on a continuous basis throughout the school year and intervention has not been followed through by school personnel to assure that the bully's behavior does not reoccur. Often teachers will know that bullying is occurring but may not feel comfortable or confident to intervene or may not know when to intervene. Therefore, it is especially important for teachers, who have the most contact with students, to be provided with education about bully abuse, be given information on positive interventions that stop bullying from taking place at each grade level and are afforded a human resource within the counseling office to whom they can make a referral for both the identified bully and the targeted victim for follow-up and intervention within the family and later follow-up within the school throughout the school year.
Along with education on bullying and positive and effective intervention methods within the classroom a stated policy against bullying that is communicated throughout the school year by administrators and teachers to students and parents is also needed to maintain awareness about bully abuse and that it is not to be tolerated within the school community where children come to receive an education. A school policy that is already in place that is part of the on-going dialogue about the stand against child abuse and the school's goal of keeping children safe within their community gives credibility and support to a school's anti-bullying policy and action plan.
For example, recognizing that bullying is a social problem in our schools and that the assault of another student is not accepted and will be dealt with by teachers, the guidance office and school administrators is a firm and fair policy for all students and parents. Taking the view that bullying is a form of child abuse that can be committed by children to other children is similar to recognizing that child abuse does occur - rather than denying this trauma happens to children we own it as occurring within the community at-large and as a potential of occurring within the school community. Establishing a zero tolerance for bully abuse within the school environment is similar to the zero tolerance in our society for the abuse of children. Training for school personnel and teachers on how to prevent and intervene quickly with the bully and to make a report to the guidance office is similar to prevention programs against child abuse and referral programs that are hopefully available within schools already. Making a referral to the school guidance office where contact with the parent for intervention with the bully can take place and scheduling of an intervention conference assures that the child victim is protected and the bully is identified as having a problem that needs addressed by both the school and the family. The victim is also identified as needing assistance and support at the family and school level and her integrity restored within the classroom, with peers and within the school. School counselors become resources for teachers, children and parents to stop bullying within our schools and assure that through their role restoration of a positive school environment where all children are respected and their right to a safe learning environment is assured by the adults who are in place to teach that children are the priority in education and their well-being come first.
Published in Counseling Today (October 2004)
an American Counseling Association Publication.